imaginarybulb (imaginarybulb) wrote,
imaginarybulb
imaginarybulb

I Knew It

Title: I Knew It
Author: imaginarybulb
Pairing(s): Kyuhyun/Jongwoon
Rating: PG-13
Summary: I knew it. I knew it.
Note: Part of Kyuhyun’s Love Stories SERIES. Previous installment(s): Andante (Kyuhyun/Jungsu) | I Did Wrong (Kyuhyun/Heechul) | You and I (Kyuhyun/Hangeng)


Based on the song: 이럴 줄 알았어 (I Knew It) – 비스트 (Beast)
Based on the MV: Some scene is based on the short MV of 이럴 줄 알았어 (I Knew It) – 비스트 (Beast)
Pairing: KyuSung (Kyuhyun/Yesung)
**************

I knew it.
I knew it.

**************
It feels like you have changed these days
The makeup you didn't used to put on, you are putting on a lot now
You are even going to the clubs you didn't used to go to

Kyuhyun opened his eyes slowly, feeling tiredness washed over him. He closed his eyes back, wanting to get back to sleep, his hand blindly searched for the warmth that is his boyfriend, Jongwoon.

And his eyes opened slowly when he couldn’t find any.

Pushing himself up, Kyuhyun ran his fingers through his hair. He scanned around his dark room, and frowned when he couldn’t sense any sign of living thing, except for him of course. He patted the nightstand, trying to find his phone. As soon as he found the device, he flipped it open to read the time. He frowned, 2AM.

Where is Jongwoon?

Pressing the device to his ear after dialling his boyfriend’s number, Kyuhyun switched on the lamp on the nightstand while leaning against the headboard. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he waited for Jongwoon to answer. He hated not getting his sleep but lately Jongwoon had always come back home so late (by late he meant the next morning) and he never knew where the older male had been to.

He sighed when his call was not answered, like always. Usually, he would go back to sleep and waits for Jongwoon’s explanation when he’s home (and the older male always said he’s with his friend, finishing an assignment or something equally like that), but he suddenly felt there’s something wrong with Jongwoon lately.

So he tried again.

And again, and again and again. Until the 7th time, Jongwoon finally answers.

“Hello…?”

Kyuhyun’s frown deepened, why is he sounded like he was drunk? Don’t tell me—

“Where are you?”

Silence, “…Who’s this?”

Kyuhyun tried to calm himself down, “Jongwoon, it’s me, Kyuhyun.”

Another silence, “…..Wait…” Kyuhyun gripped the device tighter and he is surprised why the device didn’t break into half. He waited as he heard crackling sound from the other line.

“Jongwoon, where are you?” he asked, patience at the limit.

“Uh…I’m with Youngwoon.”

“I said ‘where are you’, not ‘whom are you with’,” he said through gritted teeth.

“I—Uh, we’re at the library.”

Fuck this,
“You’re at the library?” he scoffed, “Don’t you dare fucking lie to me, Kim Jongwoon. I could hear those fucking music from here. You’re at the club, don’t you!?”

Jongwoon sighed and Kyuhyun could imagine the older male was pinching the bridge of his nose, “Baby, it’s not like I did something wrong. Yes, I’m at the club, with my friends!

“Not doing something wrong?” Kyuhyun narrowed his eyes, “You lied to me, Jongwoon. Why didn’t you just tell me the truth?”

“Look what had happened. You freaked out, Kyuhyun. How do you expect me to tell you the truth?”

Kyuhyun bit his lips and massaged his temple, “That because you had never been to a club, Jongwoon. You hated it even! Of course I freaked out!”

“What? You think I’m just a geek who didn’t know how to party?”

“Wh—I never said that! I said--“

“Yeah, yeah, I heard what you said. I’m not a nerd like you, Kyuhyun-ah. I know how to have fun and partying, okay? Now, if you excuse me, the guys had been calling me. Bye.”

Kyuhyun gaped as the line ended. He stared at his phone, what the fuck just happened? He closed his eyes as he felt hot tears pricking his eyes. Massaging his aching scalp, Kyuhyun laid his head onto the fluffy pillow (never more a strong chest), staring at the darkness emptiness in his room.

What happened to us, my love?
I don't know why I keep thinking about you,
When I tried to laugh it off
There are no laughs coming out


The first time Kyuhyun met Jongwoon was in a library.

He was trying to get a book on the highest shelf when he slipped and fell on top of an unknown male. It’s not the kind of romantic fall where the male would catch him in bridal style or something, instead, Kyuhyun actually fell on his butt on top of the older male while the other was sprawled on the floor, groaning in pain.

“Oh God!” Kyuhyun exclaimed as he jumped off the unknown male, “Oh God, I’m so sorry! Are you okay? Are you hurt!? I’m so sorry!”

Kyuhyun helped the other male to get on his feet, his worried eyes couldn’t stop examined the male as he was afraid if he had injured the other male. He knew he’s not that light, based on his appetite.

“I’m okay,” the unknown male said, laughing a bit, making Kyuhyun frowned, don’t tell me he had gone crazy because I fell on top of him!

“Are sure you’re okay?” he asked as he eyed the male suspiciously.

“Yeah, positive,” came the reply. Kyuhyun calmed down a bit and he finally could take a proper look on the other male. He was shorter than Kyuhyun, but a bit muscular than him. He was wearing a purple shirt with jeans and dark-rimmed glasses. His hair was short, light brown, not really styled but it looked good on him. His eyes were dark and seemed to be menacing despite the glasses, but the smile on his face gave him a friendly look and Kyuhyun couldn’t help but to smile back.

“What about you? Are you okay? You fell quite hard earlier,” Kyuhyun blinked dumbly at the sudden question before he awkwardly smiled and scratched the back of his neck, “Uh… Yeah, I’m fine I guess…” because I landed on you, he added in his mind.

Silence ensued between them and Kyuhyun was feeling extremely awkward by now. He’s not good with new people, that’s why he’s here, in the library, instead of going out with his friends. He kept his gaze somewhere else, avoiding his sight from staring at the good-looking unknown male in front of him.

A few seconds later (though it felt like forever for Kyuhyun), the latter spoke out, voice low and husky and yet friendly, “My name is Kim Jongwoon. Yours?”

Kyuhyun blinked dumbly again as he stared at the extended hand belonged to Jongwoon before he quickly reached for it, so small, and stuttered out, “C-Cho Kyuhyun. Nice to meet you.”

That’s how their relationship bloomed.

It took them 6 months to finally go out with each other. At first, they denied their feelings for each other, thinking that they just love each other as friends, no more, no less. However, after so much persuasion and advices from their friends, they tried to accept that what they felt was indeed love, something more than just a simple friendship.

Jongwoon is a charming man in Kyuhyun’s eyes. He’s a bit shy and awkward at times, but time by time, he started to relax a bit around Kyuhyun. He’s not a fan of cheesy lines, but his friends (and Kyuhyun’s) always encourage him to do so. Of course, it always ended with a stutter and red face (from him) and annoyed look (from Kyuhyun) but Kyuhyun never really care about it.

Even though they just exchanged a simple ‘I love you’ and cuddles and hugs and kisses, for Kyuhyun, it’s already enough for them because he knew Jongwoon’s true feelings even without the older male expressing it through words.

It was great for the two of them, but of course, even great things came to an inevitable end.

It started around 2 months ago, two years after their relationship. Kyuhyun had noticed Jongwoon was quite different from when he first met the older male. Jongwoon used to be someone who loves books, his studies were on the top (though Kyuhyun is the top student), he didn’t really care about his appearance; just a simple tee and jeans and he definitely hated going to clubs.

It’s suffocating and waste of time, he once said and Kyuhyun couldn’t agree more.

Sometimes, Kyuhyun thought maybe because he had started hanging out with Kim Youngwoon, Kim Heechul and Hankyung, the school’s party people. Kyuhyun had told Jongwoon that he didn’t like him hanging out with those three top playboys/rich brats, but Jongwoon always smile and said, “It’s okay. I promise you that I’m not gonna change.”

In the end, promises are made to be broken.

It’s funny, how a bookworm like Jongwoon could change drastically into a drunkard bastard (as Kyuhyun had said), but what’s even funnier was how Kyuhyun could still love this drunkard bastard who used to be his cute, awkward bookworm.
When was it,
When you started to play with me,
Was it the truth,
How can you do this to me?
Anyways I heard that you changed a lot these days
I didn't even know this, oh I just loved you

The first one to notice Jongwoon’s changes was not Kyuhyun.

It was Hyukjae, Kyuhyun’s best friend, Sungmin’s boyfriend.

Even though Kyuhyun was childhood friend of Sungmin, who’s also someone who loves partying, the older male never forced him into doing things he didn’t like which is partying. Kyuhyun also didn’t stop Sungmin going to a party with a condition; he didn’t want to hear Sungmin bitching about hangover.

“I saw Jongwoon at Heechul’s party last night,” Hyukjae whispered to him; they were in the library.

Kyuhyun looked up from his book, eyes wide, “What?”

“Well… I’m not sure, but I think I saw him last night.”

Kyuhyun stared at the dancer in disbelieve, “Were you drunk last night, hyung?”

Hyukjae was baffled, “Wh- I… Yeah, I was… But—”

“You must’ve got the wrong guy, hyung. Jongwoon hyung hated going to parties like that. Besides, he called me last night and told me that he’s at Jungsu’s hyung house, studying.”

Hyukjae went silence after that, muttering something about he’s sure he saw Jongwoon last night, but decided to shrug it off, knowing that Kyuhyun would probably become angrier at him. Kyuhyun gripped the book in his hands harder; the
kind of slurred voice of Jongwoon last night kept replaying in his mind.

No… He’s not… He’s not lying to me, right?

--

It was Saturday morning and it’s been 5 months ago that Kyuhyun wishes that he would never found out the thing that made him lie alone on this bed, missing the warmth and touch from someone who used to sleep besides him.

“What are you doing? Being in a club, getting a hangover, and you even lied to me!”

Jongwoon groaned as he buried his face deeper into the pillow. It’s 5 in the morning and as soon as Jongwoon arrived home, Kyuhyun had bombarded him with questions. The younger one was standing, his hands crossed on his chest, bloodshot eyes glaring at his lover.

“Kim Jongwoon, tell me, what the hell is going on? What are—”

“Shut up, will you?” Kyuhyun was taken aback, his eyes widen and cheeks reddened in anger. The older male shifted on the bed, snuggling into the pillow, “My head felt like it’s going to split into two and you won’t stop bitching—”

Kyuhyun stepped out of the door before Jongwoon could finish his sentence.

--

“This is Ryeowook, my friend. And Ryeowook, this is Kyuhyun… My… Boyfriend.”

It’s unintentional. Kyuhyun was walking alone when he saw Jongwoon with another guy, chatting happily. He was torn between greeting the older male and give the stranger a clue that Jongwoon is his or maybe just turn around and pretend he hadn’t saw that. However, his eyes caught Jongwoon’s and Kyuhyun’s heart throbbed a little when he saw panic flickered in the older male’s orbs.

Kyuhyun stretched out as smile and reached the extended hand of the shorter male with dark maroon hair, bright eyes and cute smile, “Cho Kyuhyun,” he said, shaking the hand slightly and Ryeowook nodded, “Kim Ryeowook.”

He nodded, saving the name in his memory (for some reason, he felt like he needed to remember Kim Ryeowook) and from the corner of his eyes, he noticed Jongwoon was scratching the back of his black hair, smiling discreetly towards Ryeowook.

“Jongwoon hyung had been a great help for me since I’m new here.”

“Oh, really? That’s good then,” he replied, voice still calm and compose, a controlled smile on his face. Somehow, Kyuhyun felt insecure around Ryeowook, the male was very cute, his hair was stylishly styled, (unlike Kyuhyun’s messy tousled hair), his face was white and clean like a baby’s butt (unlike Kyuhyun’s tragically pimpled face), lips curled into a natural pout (unlike Kyuhyun’s weirdly shaped bow lips), and he’s attractively thin (unlike Kyuhyun, who is thin, but he’s also tall with awkward limb and too big butt). He was wearing stylish clothes and accessories and Kyuhyun looked at himself, he’s wearing a plain white shirt with silly face printed on it, a pair of jeans that he had been wearing a lot of times now, a pair of almost worn out sneakers and a big nerdy glasses that covered half of his face.

Ryeowook grinned, and it’s annoyingly blinding to Kyuhyun, but it brought a smile on Jongwoon’s face. But Kyuhyun pretended as if he hadn’t saw it, as if he didn’t know what the tug in his heart and the look in both Ryeowook’s and Jongwoon’s eyes could’ve meant (or maybe, he knew what exactly it was but he was scared to face the truth).

So he pretended and lied to himself until the lie started to spread like a plague, turning his heart black.

--

Honey, I am not doubting you,
You know what I mean right
I’m doing this because I love you so much
So, for a second
Let me see your phone,
There is something I have to check

There are rare times when Kyuhyun wake up and find Jongwoon sleeping peacefully besides him. Those are the times where Kyuhyun would stare at the older male, wanting to touch him but didn’t dare to move an inch. He was afraid – always afraid lately – that if he moves than everything is going to shatter into pieces and he’s going to wake up alone again.

So he stayed still and stares.

Sometimes in those rare times, Kyuhyun did move. Careful hand reaching to place his palm on the rise and fall chest of Jongwoon, trying to feel if Jongwoon’s heart is beating in the same sync like his and for some reason (that Kyuhyun knew but decided to pretend he didn’t), their heart beats out of sync. Jongwoon’s heart is beating faster than his and Kyuhyun couldn’t help but to think that it was as if the older male was running (away from their love, away from him).

The rarest times were where Jongwoon and Kyuhyun would cuddle together on their bed (Kyuhyun would happily thought), talking about nothing and everything. During these times, Kyuhyun felt it was enough and he’s feeling…content. At least Jongwoon wasn’t out clubbing with his new friends, coming home drunk and then they would fight each other, at least Jongwoon is here with him.

And Kyuhyun would think that everything is fine, everything is normal, but the truth is always a little painful.

They were kissing; they were kissing each other, stealing each other’s breath and feeling like their first time again. Their minds were floating somewhere on the cloud when a shrill ring of Jongwoon’s phone broke everything off.

Kyuhyun wanted to protest. He wanted to take the phone and throw it across the room and continues, he wanted to answer the phone and said they were busy, he wanted to but he didn’t do it. He pulled away from Jongwoon, sitting on the older male’s lap and watched as Jongwoon answered the phone with shaky breath.

He wanted to cry and scream when he catches a glimpse of the caller ID on the screen of Jongwoon’s phone, but he didn’t. He didn’t do anything when Jongwoon ended the call and said his friends needed his help on their assignment even though he could smell the lie even before it roll off Jongwoon’s lips like a truth.

“Say hello to Ryeowook-ssi….” He said, “….Youngwoon-ssi, Heechul-ssi and Hankyung-ssi,” he wanted to stop until that one name but he was too afraid of the truth so he added three more unimportant names, watching the calm look in Jongwoon’s eyes as he nodded, “Sure thing. Bye.”

No kiss, no hug.

He didn’t throw things or cry like a madman like how other people did. He didn’t get drunk and throw up like how other people did. He didn’t go and attack his boyfriend, saying things like ‘You’re a jerk and we’re over’ like how other people did.

He didn’t do anything except pretending and lying to himself.

--

When did you change your password again?

Kyuhyun thought as his calloused fingers pressed the buttons of Jongwoon’s phone. The latter was sleeping beside him; it was 5 in the morning and Jongwoon was reeks with alcohol, Jongwoon and another person Kyuhyun refused to admit who.

Why is your call log so empty like this?

It was empty, everything. The call logs, the messages and Jongwoon never did that before. He loves to keep everything, especially messages and call logs from Kyuhyun because he always thought of it as their mementos. Kyuhyun used to give the older male a scandalized look at this while Jongwoon would laugh wholeheartedly but right now, seeing empty call logs and messages made him wanted to laugh bitterly, you erased everything like the fool you are.

“Aren’t you a cute thing?”

Jongwoon turned towards him, eyebrows arched, “Excuse me, what?”

Kyuhyun smiled and shook his head, “Nothing hyung.” He walked towards the older male, prying the small hands away from the maroon tie. He fixed the tie slowly, “Where are you going again?”

“A function. Heechul’s parents said he could invite his friends, so he invited me.” The older male looked at him, a strangely faked hopeful look in his eyes, “Are you sure you’re not going?”

Are you sure you wanted me to go? “Nah, it’s okay. I doubt that Heechul-ssi would want me there.”

Jongwoon laughed, carefree and relieved, “Heechul’s not that bad you know. If you learn to know him more, you’ll find out that he’s really cool.”

You are acting really strange, Kyuhyun wanted to say, you used to tell me to stay away from Heechul and his friends. He wiggled the tie knot upwards, snuggling it further up Jongwoon’s neck, tell me the truth, for a second there, he thought of strangling the older male, demanding him to tell him the truth but stopped when Jongwoon’s phone rang again.

Kyuhyun stayed silent, eyes fixed on the tie as Jongwoon answered the call with bright, bright, bright smile and the caller’s timid voice pierced in Kyuhyun’s ears and made his heart bleed.

“I’m going, bye.” And the door closed, creating an even larger distance between them and Kyuhyun clenched his hands tightly.

I am about to be mad.
Why did you leave?
Were you tired of who I am?
Why is your phone turned off?
I have something to tell you,
I will just hear your voice and walk back home
I will wait for you, wait for you in front of your house

“It’s not you, it’s me.”

Jongwoon’s voice was calm with fake, fake, fake, regrets and sadness in his eyes. They were in their – no, not theirs anymore – apartment, sitting across each other with a table with lighted candles and foods that Kyuhyun cooked (that used to taste so delicious but now made Kyuhyun wanted to throw all of it away).

“I’m sorry, Kyuhyun… It just… I don’t think things would work out with us,” Jongwoon continued and Kyuhyun let him continued about how different they were from each other (that’s because you’ve changed), how less time they had spend with each other (that’s because you’ve changed), how he had saw the end between them (that’s because you’ve changed).

Jongwoon continued to talk about why they should end their relationships and Kyuhyun was pissed, angry, mad at how Jongwoon didn’t mention about Ryeowook.

Kyuhyun didn’t move an inch even when Jongwoon gripped his hand, even when Jongwoon stood up, even when Jongwoon packed his things, even when Jongwoon kissed his cheek, even when the door closed once again, separating them from each other.

Kyuhyun didn’t move an inch because he was crying and Jongwoon didn’t saw it because the apartment was dimly light. And it’s all Kyuhyun’s fault for planning on doing a candlelight dinner for their 3 years anniversary.

--

Of course Kyuhyun won’t let Jongwoon go. Of course Kyuhyun would go and seek for Jongwoon at his new house (that Kyuhyun found out was bought by Ryeowook). Of course Kyuhyun won’t stop calling Jongwoon.

And of course Jongwoon would ignore him.

It’s been a week and Kyuhyun still couldn’t forget Jongwoon. He knew he should’ve let go, because even though it doesn’t make sense to let go of something you’ve loved and cherished, it also doesn’t make sense to hold onto something when there’s nothing left for you to hold onto. But he wanted a closure, the truth.

Because even so, Jongwoon still lied to him. He still come to their – his – apartment with an annoyingly bright smile, pretending they were best friends, pretending that he still cares (when Kyuhyun knew he didn’t). Kyuhyun wanted to laugh at how desperate Jongwoon was but didn’t say anything. He wanted to laugh at how one second Jongwoon was talking and laughing with him normally and the next second he left him alone like he didn’t know him.

He wanted to laugh at how Jongwoon refused to answer his calls when earlier the older male just came with breakfast in his hand.

He wanted to laugh at how Jongwoon stood up from his seat (which is beside Kyuhyun) and walked away towards Heechul and his friends (and Ryeowook).

He wanted to laugh because he couldn’t function his heart. His heart beats for Jongwoon and never for him. He wanted to take out his pathetic his heart and told it to stop beating for Kim Jongwoon, dammit but it never listened and continued to beat and called for Jongwoon, Jongwoon, Jongwoon.

Kyuhyun thought that maybe his heart had already broke. Maybe he had always been broken.

So he laughed underneath the heavy rain in front of Kim Jongwoon’s house.

What did I do wrong?
If I think about it I don't think I did anything wrong
Tell me the truth
Even if you don't tell me the truth, I know it all
Okay, I will really stop now
Tell me if you can't take it in, like you are going to die baby please
I will just say one last thing

There was a party in Youngwoon’s house and for the first time in his life, Kyuhyun went to a party.

“Are you sure about this?”

Sungmin said as he eyed the younger male worriedly. Kyuhyun had changed, he always wears a fake smile, his cheeks were slightly sunken, he had been neglecting his studies (because he always stays home and never went out after class) and thank God Sungmin didn’t find any scars on Kyuhyun’s wrists.

“Yeah, I’m sure. Can you help me get dress? Cause I’ve never been to a party before so I don’t have any… appropriate outfits,” the younger male said, back-facing Sungmin and Hyukjae. The two exchanged worried glances with each other, they knew what had happened between Jongwoon and Kyuhyun from Heechul,
finally Jongwoon broke up with that stupid nerd, but it seemed like Kyuhyun was still holding on.

“Kyuhyun-ah…” Sungmin started, standing up as he slowly approaches the younger male who’s rummaging through his clothes. “Kyuhyun-ah, why do you want to go to Youngwoon’s party? You hated going to parties, right?”

Kyuhyun didn’t answer, but his movements had stopped, so did Sungmin’s steps. Then, a low chuckle escaped Kyuhyun’s chapped lips, “Just curious. I wanted to know what it felt like to party.”

“Are you sure it’s not because of Jon—”

“Maybe, maybe not. I don’t know. Now, tell me what I should wear.”

Sungmin frowned, he didn’t like how Kyuhyun answers his unfinished question. Hyukjae tugged Sungmin’s shirt, making the older one to turn towards him. Hyukjae’s eyes were filled with worries and Sungmin sighed, “Let me help you.”


Kyuhyun was wearing white buttoned up dress shirt, a black tie, black leather jacket, pants and boots. He had left Sungmin and Hyukjae and walked through packs of drunken people and loud blasting music, bored eyes roamed every inch of Youngwoon’s manor.

He ignored when girls and boys grinded against him, their breath reeks of alcohol and expensive cologne that suffocated Kyuhyun. But he ignored all of it and walked passed them with one person occupying his mind.

Oops, made that two please.

Kyuhyun considers himself as a strong man. He’s strong handling Jongwoon’s drastic changes, he’s strong pretending and lying to himself, he’s strong accepting Jongwoon’s lies.

But now he realized he’s not strong handling the truth.

There Jongwoon was, beer in his hand, dancing and laughing against none other than Kim Ryeowook, his ‘friend’. The older male was dressing in a stylish and expensive clothes like Ryeowook, the ones that Kyuhyun knew he couldn’t afford.

Kyuhyun always wonders why Jongwoon never understands him. Why Jongwoon couldn’t see his red puffy eyes that shied behind big glasses and books. Why Jongwoon couldn’t hear his pathetic, broken heart. In the end, the answers are always back to Ryeowook, Ryeowook, Ryeowook. Ryeowook’s bright, twinkling eyes (unlike Kyuhyun’s empty eyes) and Ryeowook’s beautiful laughter (unlike Kyuhyun’s quiet voice) and Kyuhyun couldn’t understand why Jongwoon won’t tell him the truth and let him rest.

Kyuhyun, ignoring everyone around him, ignoring how tight he held the glass in his hand, ignoring the glint of silver couple rings in Jongwoon and Ryeowook’s (not Kyuhyun’s, never Kyuhyun’s) fingers, went towards the duo and splashed the alcohol right on Jongwoon and Ryeowook’s faces.

“What the fu—Kyuhyun!?” Jongwoon’s eyelinered eyes went wide and Kyuhyun felt laughing again, at how Jongwoon dressed like those he used to despise a lot.

“Wh-What are you doing here?” the older male asked, pulling away from Ryeowook, blinking his eyes as he tried to clear his vision, as if he was dreaming.

“What? You think I’m a nerd who didn’t know how to party?” Kyuhyun said sarcastically, his lips curved into a smirk before it fell and his face turned serious, “So… It was Ryeowook all along, huh?”

Jongwoon was taken aback and at these times, when the whole manor had turned quiet, Kyuhyun wished that Jongwoon would finally tell him the truth. Even though he wanted Jongwoon to come back to him, even though he had already known everything, even though he knew it’s going to be hurt, Kyuhyun still wished that Jongwoon would tell him the truth because he’s tired, so very tired at all those lies and his heart was already broke and black with lies and he just want everything to just stop, stop.

“Wha—No, Kyuhyun. I told you, it has nothing to do with other people. It’s just we’re different, okay?”

Why, Kyuhyun wanted to cry, why you won’t stop telling me all the lies. I already knew it, I already knew.

But he didn’t, he just stared and scoffed (because he wanted to act cool, because he didn’t want Jongwoon and other people to know that he’s a broken, temporary thing), “Just tell me the damn truth, Jongwoon! You broke up with me because of Ryeowook, right?”

Jongwoon sighed, like he was tired, like he was innocent and Kyuhyun slapped him in front of everyone, ignoring the gasps coming from Ryeowook, Hyukjae, Sungmin and other people he didn’t know. Jongwoon was frozen shock and before he knew it, the older male grabbed his hand and dragged him outside, away from stray eyes, away from Ryeowook (because Kyuhyun knew Jongwoon also wanted to act cool, wanted to act like he’s someone rational).

“What the fuck are you doing, Kyuhyun?”

Jongwoon had pushed him non-gently, making him stumble backwards a little. And he wanted to laugh at how fake Jongwoon is acting.

So he laughed, carefree and pained, “What am I doing?” Kyuhyun was not drunk, he’s sure he didn’t take a single drop of alcohol and yet he felt like a drunkard bastard. He was drunk with lies and it made him felt like he was drowning and it suffocated him.

“What are you doing, Kim Jongwoon,” he said, stepping closer to Jongwoon, his eyes locked with Jongwoon’s, his breath mixed with Jongwoon’s and when it used to be romantic now it made him sick.

“Why won’t you just tell me that you broke up with me because of Ryeowook? Why did you lie to me?” he said as he grabbed Jongwoon’s shoulder, shaking the older male.

Jongwoon grabbed his hands and peeled it off him, “I didn’t lie to you. It’s not because of Ryeowook or anyone else. I told you, we’re different from each other, we’re not going work out!”

Kyuhyun wanted to scream, why Jongwoon sounded so tired? Because Kyuhyun was the one who supposed to feel tired. He’s tired with lies and Jongwoon acted like he’s tired of telling the truths. He started to laugh when he wanted to cry, “Stop it, will you… I’m tired… Just stop.”

“You’re the one who supposed to stop! Why are you chasing after me? We’re over, Kyuhyun-ah! I wanted us to stay as friends, but the way you’re acting—”

“The way I acted?” Kyuhyun scoffed, “The way I acted? What is it about me that made you want to leave me? Because I’m a nerd?” Kyuhyun stepped closer towards Jongwoon who is frowning and he poke Jongwoon’s forehead, “Let me remind you, Kim Jongwoon. You’re also a nerd before, okay? You’re also the one who hated partying, okay? You’re also the one who said Heechul and his fucking friends a drunkard bastard—”

“Kyuhyun, stop! Don’t you dare insult them!” Jongwoon’s voice was rough and harsh and Kyuhyun laughed harder, tears already rolling down his cheeks.

“Insult them!? See, you’re the one who had changed! You’re the one that made me into this!”

“Yes, I am, okay? That’s why I ended our relationship, because I don’t want to hurt you!”

“Hurt me? You didn’t want to hurt me?” Kyuhyun laughed even harder and tears gushed out his eyes and he’s making this weird sobbing/laughing sound when a soft tiny voice spun to their hearings.

“H-Hyung… Jongwoon hyung… C-Can you send me home?” Ryeowook asked, hugging himself as his teary eyes met Jongwoon’s. The older male nodded and went to him like an obedient puppet and Kyuhyun’s shaking, steady and eyes filled with tears.

Jongwoon shot him a last glance, “Go home, Kyuhyun-ah,” before he hopped into the sleek yellow Lamborghini that Kyuhyun knew he couldn’t afford before driving off, leaving Kyuhyun behind to breathe in the smoke.

“Kyuhyun, are you okay? Are you h—”

“Hyung, I want to borrow your car.”

Sungmin was taken aback, but he nodded nonetheless as he handed Kyuhyun his car keys and before he could ask the younger one on where he wanted to go, Kyuhyun had already left.

Kyuhyun pressed his phone to his ears, eyes fixed on the road, the annoying, boring, long beeping sound plugging his ear. He gritted his teeth and removed the device from his ears before redialling Jongwoon’s number and pressing the device back to his ear.

Still the annoying, boring, long beeping sound.

But Kyuhyun didn’t stop trying; he tried and tried until the 5th trial that Jongwoon finally answered with a harsh, “What?”

“It was that dude right? Ryeowook,” he asked directly and Jongwoon huffed on the other line but didn’t hang up so Kyuhyun continued, fighting away his tears to make his voice as calm as possible, “He was good looking but he didn’t seem like he was someone who was trustable.”

“You know nothing about Ryeowook,” the older male said darkly and Kyuhyun chuckled bitterly, “Defensive, I see.”

Jongwoon was taken aback, Kyuhyun knew it from the way the older male making a hum/clearing throat sound. He wanted to stay cool, he wanted to make Jongwoon tell the truth but the tears were too stubborn and decided to fall out of his eyes.

So Kyuhyun choked out, “Did I do something wrong?”

Silence.

“If being nice was a sin, that is the only thing I did wrong, okay? I didn’t cheat on you, I never lied to you, I gave my everything to you!!” Kyuhyun screamed and pressed the honk, knowing Jongwoon’s Ryeowook’s Lamborghini in front of him. Jongwoon was surprised because Kyuhyun heard him swears and the car in front of him swerved a bit.

“Kyuhyun, listen to me—”

“He should have known I was next to you, hyung,” Kyuhyun sniffed, blinking away the tears, finally using the term ‘hyung’ after so long. “But he must have underestimated me,” he lets out a choked laugh, “I knew everything, hyung. I knew it all along…”

And this time, Kyuhyun was the one hanging up and he swerved the car, making an illegal U-turn, driving away with his tears and broken heart. He cried his heart out, ignoring the loud honk coming from the lorry with bright, bright, bright lights that were blinding (like Ryeowook’s smile) and he pressed the pedal harder before swerving the car, avoiding the lorry and pulled a stop.

Kyuhyun cried harder and buried his face into his folded arms on the steering wheel, wondering what’s going to happen next, what’s going to happen to him, will his heart stops beating for Jongwoon, will his heart finally stops and beats for him instead.

And when Kyuhyun knew all the answers before, this time, he didn’t.
**************

I knew I was going to be like this,
When you said that you were going to meet him yesterday,
Why couldn't I get a hold of you then.
I knew it,
From the time when a number I didn’t know appeared on your phone,
From then I knew this was going to happen…

**************

-THE END-


Tags: member: jongwoon, member: kyuhyun, pairing: kyuhyun/jongwoon
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